Football season is upon us, which means I'm pumped. It also means that I'm getting excessively annoyed by many happenings. As such, I have felt compelled to create my own list of people I'm currently hating. Keep in mind, I have a short fuse, and am also quite forgiving. Clearly, I'm a football fan. So the list is dominated with football references. But here we go.
10) T.O.
Duh. Who in the world can create a top ten and NOT put TO on it? Not me. This is a love/hate relationship though. When I watch the highlights, I hate him. When I watch the games, I don't. I don't know what it is. However, today I must take an official stance. And today, I do not love him. Sure he's a friggin' miracle maker and can catch any ball put within a 6 foot radius of him, but must he show-boat? Seriously. We all know you're awesome. Give the ball back to the ref and quit acting like an idiot.
9) Tony Romo
I know... it's beginning to look like a pattern. I don't hate the Cowboys though. Just TO and Romo. Why do I detest Romo, you ask. One word: Hype. Let's face the facts, he's not a great QB. He's just surrounded by people who can turn his shit into gold (I'm looking at TO). I'll tell you what... if he was with Miami, they'd be 1-15 again. Yea, I said it. Romo is kinda crap. Oh, and Romo, you're girlfriend's a douche.
8) Floyd Mayweather
Yea, this one I'm kinda torn about too. I hated him up until his final match. Honestly. Pure hate. My hate was only aggrevated by his fight with Oscar when he came out in that damn sombrero. What a douche... but my hate lessened to more of a wishy-washy dislike during his fight with Ricky Hatton. The Brits acted like classless assholes, and Pretty Boy Floyd cried when he won (I should mention that I'm a fan of grown men crying... as long as I'm not dating them). But since I'm not a very hateful person, and most of his career was spent on my bad side, he makes the list.
7) Tom Brady
Now, it's not very often that I decide to hate on a delicious piece of man-meat like Tom Brady. But today is one of those days. I don't know why, but he rubs me the wrong way. I just don't like him. I can't even put it into words... but his failures do not go unnoticed. Maybe it's because he dates a Brazilian supermodel and I'm pissy that I don't stand a chance... Maybe it's the 5 sacks in the last Super Bowl that got under my skin. I honestly don't know. But, I'm kinda glad he's out for the season. I know, it's bad that someone makes this list and I can't even say why. But hey, it's MY list.
6) Novak Djokovic
I'm a fan of grown men crying, but I'm NOT a fan of grown ass men acting like pansies. I'm just going to let Andy Roddick do the talking for me on this one: "Bird flu, Anthrax, SARS... He's either quick to call the trainer, or he's one of the most courageous guys of all time." Man up, Novak. Man up.
5) OJ Simpson
The only reason he's not closer to #1 is because he's irrelevant. I'm tired of him always getting in trouble. I'm tired of him being above the law... and I damn sure think his book about the murders was classless. OJ gets an A+ for being a douche, and fails at being a decent human being. Stop breaking the law. Stop it. (You too Michael Vick.)
4) Kobe Bryant
He's named after expensive beef... Shaq doesn't like him... He's a philanderer... the list goes on. Don't get me wrong, I think he's an awesome player, but I just don't like him on a personal level.
3) Tonya Harding
Congratulations Tonya. You get to be the only girl on my list. Do I really even need to talk about why she makes the list? I can sum it up pretty quickly: Wedding Porn and Kerrigan. Besides that, she was one of those people that loved drama. In fact, the competitions didn't even feel right if she didn't have some sort of crisis. She sucks at life.
2) Tennessee Titan Fans
How DARE you boo Vince Young! He's a God among men. Have you no shame?! He took your crap team to the friggin' playoffs and you're gonna boo him?! NO. Absolutely NOT. I'm gonna boo you, Tennessee. BOOOOOOOOO!! I've never been more livid in all of my football-watching life as I was when I watched a legend get booed by his fans (and Merill Hoge... you can shut you're mouth too).
1) Your Girlfriend
I understand. She's cute, and she wants to come to the sports bar and watch the game with you. But if she doesn't stop complaining about how loud it is... she might meet her demise the next time we meet in the bathroom. Don't get me wrong... I LOVE female fans. I think it's awesome. In fact, I am one. But honestly, you need to give her the basics before you take her out in public. It embarrasses ME when she cheers for the wrong team. Oh, how do I know she's cheering for the wrong team? Because she's wearing a damn pink and white Romo jersey and just cheered when he threw an interception. Maybe you should cut her off at 2 cherry vodka sours or something, but I can't handle it anymore.